How to Deal with Negative Thoughts and Self-Talk

1. The Real Talk on Self-talk

Inner DJ: Think of self-talk like your personal radio station. Some tracks are uplifting, while others... not so much. Referring to yourself in the third person (like "Come on, you've got this!") can help keep those emotions in check. It's like being your own motivational speaker.^[1] But it's not just about the words; it's about the rhythm and the flow. Imagine if your favourite song had a wonky beat or was out of tune. It wouldn't hit the same, right? The same goes for self-talk.

Brain Vibes: Our thoughts have power. Positive pep talks can actually boost our brain's problem-solving skills. On the flip side, too much negativity can throw things off balance. So, what we tell ourselves can literally shape our brain's wiring.^[2] It's like tuning your guitar. If you're always strumming the negative chords, it's going to sound off. But with a bit of tuning and some positive notes, you can change the tune.

2. Mindfulness: Not Just a Buzzword

Mindful Makeover: Ever tried meditation or just taking a moment to breathe? That's mindfulness. Combining this with some classic therapy techniques can be a game-changer for keeping those blues at bay.^[3] It's like giving your mind a spa day. Letting it relax, refresh, and rejuvenate. And the best part? You don't even need to book an appointment.

3. Drama Alert: Why We Focus on the Negative

We're kind of wired to focus more on the bad stuff than the good. It's like being naturally drawn to drama. But once we're aware of this, we can work on giving the good vibes more airtime.^[4] It's like having a favourite TV show. If you only watch the episodes where the main character is having a bad day, you're going to think their life is all doom and gloom. But if you watch the full season, you'll see the ups and downs, the highs and lows.

4. Counting Wins with Gratitude

Remembering the good stuff, like that amazing vacation or just a killer dinner you cooked last week, can be a mood booster.^[5] It's like a mini-break from the daily grind. And the more you do it, the more you train your brain to look for the good stuff. It's like building a positivity playlist and hitting the repeat button.

Gratitude recognize the good in your life.

5. Feedback: It's Not You, It's Our Brain

Ever noticed you remember that one offhand comment over ten compliments? We're better at catching and remembering the negatives.^[6] But here's the thing: it's not personal. It's just how our brains are wired. So, next time someone throws shade your way, remember it's just background noise.

6. It's Not Just "All in Our Head"

Sometimes, our genes play a role in feeling down.^[7] It's not just about mindset; there's a genetic component too. But knowing this can help us be a bit kinder to ourselves. It's like finding out your favourite singer uses auto-tune. It doesn't make their music any less enjoyable; it just gives you a bit more context.

7. Imposter Syndrome: The Unwanted Guest

Ever felt like you don't belong or you're a fraud, even when you're qualified or skilled? That's imposter syndrome.^[8] It's like being the lead singer of a band and thinking you're just a backup vocalist. Recognizing it is the first step to taking centre stage.

8. Flipping the Script

Pep Talk Power: Focusing on the effort (like how hard you worked on a project) rather than just the outcome (whether it was a success or not) can make challenges feel more manageable.^[9] It's about valuing the journey and the growth along the way. So, next time you're facing a challenge, give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself of all the hard work you've put in, the late nights, the early mornings, and the countless cups of coffee. It's not just about the destination; it's about the journey.

Chatting with a Pro: Sometimes, a chat with a therapist can help balance out that inner critic.^[10] It's like having a personal trainer for your mind. They can give you the tools and techniques to keep your thoughts in check.

Wrap-Up

We all have those moments of self-doubt. But with a mix of understanding, mindfulness, and a dash of self-love, we can turn that inner critic into our biggest fan.